Saturday, January 15, 2011

Food Really?

I've come to the conclusion that my body is turning against me. All the little DNA pieces are getting together and saying "Did she treat us right?? Nooooooooo! Are we going to take this anymore??? Noooooooooo!" and so they revolted!

In this long quest to figure out the origin of the mystery rash I went for allergy testing. I knew I'd test positive for the animal dander and some "outside environment" things but I didn't expect my back to light up like a Christmas tree and test positive for EVERY tree, grass, weed and most of the molds they tested me for! And then....the horror of horrors....but we'll get to that in a moment.

Did you know you have to get on a scale at the allergist's office? I didn't. I thought it would be one of the few medical visits where I'd be safe from that dastardly devise but nooooooooooo. I should have known then that things could only go downhill from there. Skipping over all the Q & A that occured I'll just jump right to the testing. I had to lay facedown on a table while the technician stabbed me in the back (literally!) over 60 times. I'm not going to lie, it hurt! Not excruciating pain kind of hurt but after about 20 times and you know you aren't even halfway finished you start to tense up a tad! But I lived through it and the tech said to just lay still for 15 minutes and he'd be back. He came back when he said and says "Well, I don't have to ask you how you're's evident by your back!" Then he asks me if he can take a picture for me with my cell phone "Because you really have to see this!" Apparently my allergy reactions are over-achievers and he hadn't quite seen one like mine before. Happy to help in the name of science! So then they decide to do some more testing and stab me up and down both arms. (Sidenote: I've decided acupuncture is not anything I'm interested in exploring!) The doctor comes back and shows me the list of highlighted items ( the comedian/technician quips "I had to get a second highlighter!"). As well as the previously mentioned items I also tested positive for corn pains me to type this........(imagine Ralphie saying "soap poisoning") ....CHOCOLATE!!! I blurted out "That is just cruel!!!"

Did you know that corn is in EVERYTHING????? I had to go on a corn free as possible diet for at least a week and then have CORNPALOOZA where I ate as much as I could stand of things with corn in it. The rash did come back. Sadness. It's much easier to find gluten free items than it is to find corn free. It's depressing and I have wavered back and forth from being mopingly depressed to "ok, I can do this".

But my question is why now? Why at am I suddenly breaking out in rashes because of corn. I live in the corn belt! I worked in high school/college detassling corn or working corn pack. Why did it turn against me???

I think the corn and my personal DNA are in cahoots with each other! And I can't even discuss the whole chocolate issue right's just too soon!

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