Moving in with Kermit

We have a swamp forming around our house. I noticed a spongy spot in the yard last week and pointed it out to DH who said "We'll keep an eye on it." NOT one of my favorite sayings but in the interest of family harmony I try to ignore it when I can. Last night the neighbors came over to show us what the small side yard between our two houses looks like and the dampness on our foundation. Today in the sunlight we see how swampy it is on the other side of the house too. Huge sigh.

A man from the water company came out, checked the meter and said "Nope, it's not here". Which I'm sure is what his job description entails but to quote my son's friend who was here all afternoon, "C'mon dude!" A little more helpful insight would have been appreciated.

This was while we were getting ready to hang Christmas lights outside since it was a warm, sunny day. DH discovers he has again misplaced a piece off the staple gun that fell off a few months ago. He found out and apparently it got lost again. So off to Ace he goes to buy a new one and I got online to check the town's website. I found a number to call for possible sewer emergencies so I call it and hear "Sheriff's Department" My tongue trips over itself as I start apologizing and tell her I had call the number listed on the website to call for sewer emergencies. She assures me it's ok and that she's working at "dispatch" and on the week-ends they get emergency town calls too. I explained I wasn't sure if we were an emergency or not and tell her what's going on. She put me on hold and then came back and said she had called someone from the sewer company to come out. Alrighty then!

A little bit later a kidlet brings me the phone outside and it's "sewer man". He said "I just got a call from the sheriff's department???" So I explained the number on the website to him too and we both agreed how strange it was. He comes by a little later and said he doesn't believe it's a backed up sewer since thankfully there's no awful smell. He said he thinks we have a leak and that all the pea gravel under our slab foundation has absorbed all the water it could so now it's spreading out. Then he says "It could be a pinpoint leak and been there since it was built." GREAAAAAAAAAAAAT! If we're lucky it's in a spot he pointed out on the side of the house. If it's under the house then I have horrifying images of jackhammers and flying concrete and linoleum through the kitchen in my head.

But how bad can it be to live in a swamp...really? Kermit did and look how well he's done for himself! I have kids, aren't they like fuzzy Muppets sometimes?! Then again, Kermit LEFT the swamp for Sesame Street.....can you tell me how to get...how to get to Sesame Street????