Second time around

I had posted a blog early this morning that I think only Jeanne had the misfortune to read. (Thanks for the comment though, my friend!)

This has been a tumultuous week and I was definitely sliding into woe is me mode earlier today. I discovered that it's true the person who "fights back" is the one who gets into "trouble". I spoke to someone online in the same tone they've been using towards me for some time and got my fingers smacked for it by more than just the person to whom I "spoke". At first it did hurt because it feels I've discovered people I thought were my friends are not, but truth be told that feeling has been hovering around for awhile now. And sometimes that's just how life is, things and people change. True, the timing stinks with other things going on right now but like REO sings sometimes you have to roll with the changes. (Had to keep some musical reference in there somewhere!)

I'll try not to go too TMI in regards to the problems leading to my needing the biopsy Monday morning but cramping ALL month long is part of it and those have intensified over the past few days. It's become standard for me to have cramps at any time that can have me either doubling over in pain or grabbing onto something to keep myself up. I hope and pray the "unusual lining" isn't due to cancer but I hope and pray just as much they discover what's causing it and can make it go away. But the thought of the big C does flit in and out of my thoughts. Ooooooooohmmmmmmmmmm, that's me putting that back into the box and hoping the doctor doesn't tell me we need to open it!

Robbie had a rough appointment this week. I struggle with how much to share. Part of me thinks if I can help somebody else who stumbles upon this and is dealing with the same issues to not feel so alone then it's a good thing. But the protective mama lion in me has seen first hand this week the stigma is still applied to people who may have certain "issues" and that makes me want to shield him for as long as I can. I can't always do that in real life since some things our kids just have to go through on their own but I can do it here for now.

And I leave you with this quote for now. It's one I put in Samantha's high school graduation album and one I've been reading a lot this week....."Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. "
Eleanor Roosevelt