It's been a long time!

I had to pull away the cobwebs to get here, it's been so long! Is anyone even out there anymore? I've been living in semi-cyber hermit mode except for playing Frontierville via Facebook and throwing out the random pithy comment here and there. Like everyone else, life just started piling up on me and settling on the frontier was just the easiest way to go! Not so sure it's the most mentally healthy way to go according to some but what are you going to do?!

Just thought I'd kick the dust off and see if anyone's still out there. Sometimes these rambling thoughts in my head bubble over and need a place to go!

Food allergies...now? Really?

I've come to the conclusion that my body is turning against me. All the little DNA pieces are getting together and saying "Did she treat us right?? Nooooooooo! Are we going to take this anymore??? Noooooooooo!" and so they revolted!

In this long quest to figure out the origin of the mystery rash I went for allergy testing. I knew I'd test positive for the animal dander and some "outside environment" things but I didn't expect my back to light up like a Christmas tree and test positive for EVERY tree, grass, weed and most of the molds they tested me for! And then....the horror of horrors....but we'll get to that in a moment.

Did you know you have to get on a scale at the allergist's office? I didn't. I thought it would be one of the few medical visits where I'd be safe from that dastardly devise but nooooooooooo. I should have known then that things could only go downhill from there. Skipping over all the Q & A that occured I'll just jump right to the testing. I had to lay facedown on a table while the technician stabbed me in the back (literally!) over 60 times. I'm not going to lie, it hurt! Not excruciating pain kind of hurt but after about 20 times and you know you aren't even halfway finished you start to tense up a tad! But I lived through it and the tech said to just lay still for 15 minutes and he'd be back. He came back when he said and says "Well, I don't have to ask you how you're feeling....it's evident by your back!" Then he asks me if he can take a picture for me with my cell phone "Because you really have to see this!" Apparently my allergy reactions are over-achievers and he hadn't quite seen one like mine before. Happy to help in the name of science! So then they decide to do some more testing and stab me up and down both arms. (Sidenote: I've decided acupuncture is not anything I'm interested in exploring!) The doctor comes back and shows me the list of highlighted items ( the comedian/technician quips "I had to get a second highlighter!"). As well as the previously mentioned items I also tested positive for corn and.........it pains me to type this........(imagine Ralphie saying "soap poisoning") ....CHOCOLATE!!! I blurted out "That is just cruel!!!"

Did you know that corn is in EVERYTHING????? I had to go on a corn free as possible diet for at least a week and then have CORNPALOOZA where I ate as much as I could stand of things with corn in it. The rash did come back. Sadness. It's much easier to find gluten free items than it is to find corn free. It's depressing and I have wavered back and forth from being mopingly depressed to "ok, I can do this".

But my question is why now? Why at am I suddenly breaking out in rashes because of corn. I live in the corn belt! I worked in high school/college detassling corn or working corn pack. Why did it turn against me???

I think the corn and my personal DNA are in cahoots with each other! And I can't even discuss the whole chocolate issue right now....it's just too soon!

Things that make you go "huh".

After much internal debate I posted on Facebook this morning about how I had made tomorrow my start date for THE "losing weight" journey. On top of the mysterious rash that no one can agree on what's causing it I've also been dealing with anemia, an aching knee and apparently high blood pressure (which apparently is the cause for the discomforting sensations in my chest that will occur from time to time). In short...I'm a mess! And so I went public (and am doing so once again even though it's a small public for my blog!) in the hopes it would make me more accountable. I'm hoping I'll be a little less inclined to give up...again...if there's the chance that someone will ask me how the journey is going.

But then the thing that made me go "huh" happened. Someone I've been friends with since I moved to Rankin waaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1978 commented that I had one of the strongest sense of will power that she knew. I definitely have never thought of myself in that way. Stubborn maybe but not always in a beneficial way, more like I wasn't going to let some particular annoying people in the past "win" but I never thought of it has having strong will power. She also reminded me she's seen me through some tough times and you know what? She's right. I have gone through some nasty crapstorms but I've always told myself that everyone has so who cares? I'm not going to go all Dr. Phil but there have have been some people in my life who should have been built me up but instead seemed to like chipping away at me instead. But you know what? That was then, this is now. I can let those voices keep whispering away in my head that I'll never succeed so why bother or I can remember that I HAVE (excuse the melodrama here!) sailed through some crapstorms a little bruised and battered but I did survive! Stubborness or will power? Who cares?!

But this does have me wondering do any of us see ourselves as others see us??? How amazing it would be if we did? (Unless people think you're a jerk and then it's probably better not to know! )

Hey Kelli, look!!!

It's been so long since I've blogged that I wasn't sure I remembered my password! I thought I had forgotten it and then realized that someone had turned the numbers lock key off. @@ But just for my friend, Kelli, I wanted to post something so I can say "There! I blogged!"

I go from thinking I have nothing entertaining to write so this little corner collects cobwebs to I still have nothing entertaining to write but let's share it with the world anyway! (Hey, I never forced any of you to click your way over here to read my ramblings now did I??? )

Life has been a roller coaster ride lately but hopefully I'm headed in the right direction to take care of some of that with my appointment with the allergist next week. Apparently while living in my head dealing with my own "doctor drama" I've been missing some drama going on around me. You know what? I have no problem with that! I used to feel like I had to know everything but the older I get the less that urge hits! And the more I'm able to let some of the family drama go as well. It's no fun for people if they don't have an audience...or so I've heard! I hope that's true but even if it isn't...not my problem!

So there's my teaser of a blog and Kelli, I'll try not to have it be months before I blog again!

Anybody out there?

Now that the link to my nonsensical ramblings doesn't appear on my FB page anymore and the fact I went from part time to full time in a big way I haven't really paid this poor little corner much mind. I'm not even sure anybody's out there anyway...tap...tap...tap...is this thing on???

Rambling Thursday

I had the day off from work today so I deep cleaned the kitchen this morning. I'd much rather have gone to work! But now all the greasy dust bunnies are banished and for a moment all the dog hair is off the floor. Sad thing is these people are going to expect me to actually COOK in there tonight! And mess up my masterpiece?!?

Day two of school and I'm almost feeling guilty to say I wanted to cheer when I saw the boy's bus lumbering around the corner this morning. His bus driver (same wonderful woman that drove when Katie went to that school) said she would pick up and drop off in front of our house "just like I did with Katie" because according to her the kids are not supposed to be crossing the street to get to the bus stop. I told her it's been that way every year since we've been here and I did let the transportation office know two years ago. She said "Well, he's not crossing the street when I'm driving!" Love her! The "problem" is that the boy is already fretting over NEXT year when his friend who is a year behind him will be riding the same bus. "But I want to be with him at the bus stop!!!" Two days into the school year and he's gnashing his teeth over a year from now. Not one of my finer moments to admit that it's these moments I want to go running into the night or rather early morning in this case. I THINK that he's feeling out of control with all the changes and Stinky is trying to get the better of him so he's stressing over, what to me, are silly things, at the moment. It's sometimes hard to keep reminding myself of that when all the drama is unfurling.

Which I think is possibly the root of my next rambling and this lovely hivey rash I seem to suddenly have going on since yesterday. I have problems with eczema so I think it's a branching off of that and stress but it's definitely annoying.

Oh, where is my deserted isle? Where's the S.S. Minnow when I need her and her crew?!?

Back To School

Tomorrow the kids go back to school. The boy will be going to a different school this year and thanks to how the district lines are drawn only one other kid from his class will be going to the same school. The rest of them will just go across the street from where they were last year. He'll be going into 5th grade and this year he'll have different teachers for different classes and be moving around a lot. A situation that makes a mom worry about her OCD/ADD labeled child. I worry that "Stinky" (the name we gave the OCD) will rear its ugly head and he'll lose some of the ground he worked so hard to gain. I keep telling myself to have faith and I really do want to but it's difficult! It's part of a mom's nature to want to protect, the hard thing is part of what he needs to be protected from is how the OCD can make him think. And when you have an "smart" kid to boot it's not like you can try to "trick" him into thinking differently! He's already thought through everything a million different ways himself!

So I worry about him and then wonder if I've sent enough concern in his going into 8th grade sister's drection too. You couldn't pay me to go back to junior high!!! She's Miss "Julie Joiner" so I think/hope/pray she'll be ok. It should just be the typical mean girl garbage we face on occasion....at least I hope so!

Ok, I've poured out some angst and now have a slippery hold on things again! If you think about it tomorrow send up a prayer for both of my going back to school kiddos and their frazzled mom too! ;-)